Cupid has stayed away from my corner for a while now, and it’s been good.
For several years now, my biggest worries on Valentine’s Day have centered on what I’m going to wear for the night out with friends or how much money I’ll be spending on a weekend getaway with them. So, you see, it’s been about how to please me, not about expecting someone else to make me feel really special on Feb. 14.
If you live in coupledom, you’re probably thinking I’m just a hater trying to portray it’s all good and that it’s better to be single. Not the case. I have been in relationships on Valentine’s and hope that I’ll be in one again for years to come on this special day, celebrating love … and the lovely human anatomy (wink). But, while that someone comes along, I can do without the stress of searching for unique, this-demonstrates-I-love-you-and-you’re-special gifts and outings. I can also do without feeling let down when my guy falls short of putting that extra effort I’ve expected on this day. Maybe I won’t engage in or have such expectations next time around, but I can only speak based on experience.
In summary, “Latina and the City” has been Single and the City on Valentine’s, enjoying dinners, cocktails, events and dancing in the company of my second family and support system ¾ those people I call friends, who are still here, unlike boyfriends who’ve come and gone. Some friends have even married throughout the years but, with their partner, still plan and join the celebration with their single peeps.
In most Spanish-language cultures, Valentine’s Day is known as El Día del Amor y la Amistad, making it clear that it’s the day of love and friendship versus the English-language version of lovers celebrating love. It makes sense to commemorate the two non-family relationships I think humans need to be happy. I am not saying one can’t be complete without a love interest by their side, what I am saying is that our significant other can’t give us everything friends can and vice versa. They provide different affection, fulfill unique needs and both have a special place in the heart.
So, to all the ladies with a man, Feliz Día del Amor y la Amistad. Do give your man the priority he deserves just like you expect him to prioritize you, but don’t forget to at least give a shout out to your single peeps — you never know if you’ll be single again.
To all my fellow single ladies out there who haven’t found love, Feliz Día de la Amistad y el Amor. Do prioritize your friends over a mediocre guy you’d just be using for a free date and compliments — you have 364 other days to do this.