Recently I was out with some girlfriends enjoying a night in Dallas. These women are beautiful, witty, smart, college educated, employed and overall great people. Yet in listening to them speak I was saddened by their lack of confidence and the negative manner in which they talked about themselves.
Since that evening I have been thinking about women I know and how they express themselves – their self assessments. Sadly I recognized a pattern amongst beautiful, smart, witty, educated and hard working women that seems to resonate and perpetuate. I have heard women say they will not take a vacation to a beach destination so as not to have to wear a bathing suit, some have said they will not date until they lose _ _ number of pounds (can’t allow a man to see them naked), others will not invite anyone over to their home until everything is in order and in their opinion “perfect.”
There lies the problem, in life if you are real you will never achieve perfection. As little girls we are conditioned to believe that we have to please others, be nice (What the hell does that mean? I will give anyone $100.00 if they can give me a valid definition of NICE) and be pretty. If you ever want to give pause to a young girl tell her she is not being nice or that she is selfish. That is a way to get girls of any age to pause and notice.
Ladies – I tell you, implore you to be selfish. It is not wrong to expect good things for yourself and expect everyone in your life to treat you well. If a “friend” always expects things from you but does not give in return, note to self they are not friends. If your significant other compares you to other women and doesn’t think he/she is the luckiest person in the world to have you as their significant other – get rid of the zero and get yourself a hero.
Expect, no demand that people in your life treat you with respect and love. Most importantly love yourself, with imperfections and all. Just imagine how boring life would be if everyone looked and acted the same. What makes you different is what makes you special. Embrace all the fabulousness that you offer this world – it’s quite a lot.
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