“The more things change, the more they stay the same.” I don’t know who said that first, I do know that it still applies today. As a woman who grew up in a traditional Mexican-American home I was raised with many expectations. I was expected to be a good girl, get good grades in school, graduate college, find a good Catholic and Mexican husband, have 2.5 kids, be a teacher, be a good wife and daughter, an active member of my church…….(the list goes on and on) and do all of this in my home town.
Unfortunately for my disappointed parents, I did graduate college but failed to fulfill some of those other hopes and dreams. Don’t get me wrong my parents are very proud of me and what I have accomplished. I know this because they tell me this every chance they get.
We had our challenging times, especially when my parents didn’t understand why I wanted to move away from home in pursuit of a job and not a man. Then continued to remind me how incomplete I was without a husband. I realize I am sharing TMI here, but if this information helps one girl, one woman take a bold step then it will be worth it. My parents seem to finally understand me and the choices I’ve made. I don’t get the “when will you settle down and get a husband?” question every time I do home. They are also my greatest advocates when anyone else questions me in their presence.
It took a long time for my parents to understand my choices and me years to see things from their point of view. What I am finally learning to appreciate is the sacrifices that my mother and other women of her generation made for me and women of mine. Their choices allowed me to work, travel, own a home and express myself without repercussion or reprisal.
These brave and smart women – starting with my mother – gave me the opportunity to define my own role in this world. To express myself in any way I choose and left a legacy that will continue after they are gone. Because of the women who came before me – I get to define my role today however I want to.
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